Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
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My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
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My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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