I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
This is not my ceiling
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
why does every cop we meet know your name?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
