Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just pynch a tree in the face
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
