summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Just puked most of my soul out..
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