she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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