I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Your cock deserves a montage
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
