She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
