I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
