seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
