Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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