I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
