lets start a swedish sibling band together
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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