how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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