I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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