Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.