I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.