ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Randomize
