Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.