Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
