He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
well you can't waste a boner
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
