WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
