Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Hippo gnu deer
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
