I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
