I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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