Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
