hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
