I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
