i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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