Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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