We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
