hell yes lets make some ravioli
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.