you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize