I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
