I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
