I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize