Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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