how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
