Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
