I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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