I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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