At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
