I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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