i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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