I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
