Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
