a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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