That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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