I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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