We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize