Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
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You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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