I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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