Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize