Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize