Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
