Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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