Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
