evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
