I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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