You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
you never un-have a 4some
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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