We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The beer is more important than you right now.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
