Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
