I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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