Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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